Do you really wanna Know?

What were you like as a teenager?

If you were a problem teenager, why were you? Without going into more detail than you care to, what made you do what you did? Have you apologized or made amends with the people whose lives you affected?

(notice that I didn’t even copy the sentence about being a good teen.)

I wasn’t all that horrible as a teen, never got suspended, never got pregnant, never “ruined” my life. But looking back, now as a parent myself, I realize that I put my parents through a lot of hell. Much of what I did was “standard” I guess. Drinking in high school, cutting some classes, going out with the “wrong type” of guys. Damn, I liked the bad boys, but never understood why we never lasted. haha!
I also had some tougher emotional issues. I had an eating disorder than came and went as I was in HS, college and still to this day. I also had some problems with alcohol and even got arrested for drinking in a public place. I was lucky that they didn’t hit me with underage drinking, that would have been a big issue on my teacher job app’s.
I also had a lot of attitude issues, which I am currently getting payback for with my own daughter. She is a doll, however- we have butted heads since the day she was conceived. She is almost 8, but I am gearing myself up for bigger issues as she gets older. I hope that I am laying a solid foundation now of being close and honest with each other because I imagine that will be helpful in the future.
Why did I do a lot of this? I know some of it was for attention. Some of it was because I learned early on to not make a fuss- emotions only got you in trouble. This plays a big part in my eating disorder. I also wanted to be me, not Charlie’s little sister. My brother was the good son, not only is manners and behavior, but he was the first born son/grandson in a traditional Italian family. I didn’t seem to matter much. So I tried to be the opposite of him. He was conservative, traditional, quiet, Republican (gasp!!), so I had to be the heavy metalhead, bad girl, liberal, feminist etc….

I don’t know if I have apologized in so many words, but I have a wonderful relationship with my parents now. I think becoming a parent myself made me have a totally different perspective and I realize now how hard I was on them. And I tell them often how much I love and appreciate the great job they did with me, in spite of myself.


11 responses to “Do you really wanna Know?

  1. After your comment, “bear in mind I am a nice person now..” I couldn’t resist reading, they were my own sentiments about myself! Thanks for telling of your teenage years, maybe I’ll be brave enough to share mine too.

  2. Thanks for sharing…it’s amazing how different the world looks now that I’m a parent too!

  3. So the subtext, if we combine your blog post with your comment that you’re a nice person now, is really a message of hope for parents raising teens right now: even if your teen is a problem, he or she can still grow up to be a nice person–as nice as Faery-wings! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

  4. I think we all learn from our mistakes…at least we have hindsight and can better prepare or help our own children oneday. Thanks for your blog

  5. Love reading your journal. TFS!!

  6. awwww- thank s Judyy

    and bonnie- ain’t it the truth? Now I know all of the tricks she will try to pull on me LOLOL!

  7. This is a wonderful, honest post! I think it will really help the person who requested this prompt. Thank you for being so willing to share! Good luck with your dd!!!

  8. It is staggering what becoming a parent can do to your recollections of the past. LOL. I had to call my mother to find out what kind of teenager I really was.

  9. How refreshing! You have done a lot of thinking on this to see how you reacted to your brother’s position.

  10. Yes, being a parent now makes me understand why my parents acted the way they did sometimes and why they were overprotective of me. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Isn’t it weird how once we become parents, we look at life from a different perspective. It used to scare me when my mother in law always told me that our kids would be payback for the hell she went through with my husband (and I was such a perfect child! this wasn’t fair!)

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