I got my dvd copy of Under Our Skin. If you haven’t seen this yet, and plan to, you might not want to read too much more, because there are some spoilers. Not that I am giving the plot away- because if you have Lyme you are living the plot- but I don’t want to take anything away from for you.
What an amazing movie. I thought I was going to be all emotional and teary watching it.But I wasn’t- there were way too many emotions in me to pick just one to cry over. There were parts of the movie that made me so sad- like when the little boy said he thought he was just wanted to be normal. That broke my heart- do my kids feel that they are not normal?
Then when the Mandy and her husband were talking about how they didn’t expect this and how they pull for each other but its hard! Yeah, I get that! It was hard watching Mandy go through all of that- how quickly treatment can make you worse. But it is so important to stick with it.
The movie made me angry- The IDSA and insurance companies– the fights we have to have to get meds covered, tests covered and that these are often losing battles. And it has been a “secret” thought of mine- how different it would be if my family had cancer. Not that I want cancer, but at least we wouldn’t have to fight tooth and nail for treatment. So when that father talked about that, I felt so relieved- I am not the only one who thinks that.
it scared me- that people can die from this. Obviously I don’t think this will happen to us, we have great doctors and treatment protocols. But it is scary and sad that this happens. And that many times, people don’t even know that they have Lyme. The medical community has got to put this on the front burner- now! The ignorance must stop!
I felt sorrow and kinship too. I related so much to the girl who worked on the U2 tour. she said that she kept going because she was scared that when she stopped her body would just collapse. That is how I feel- and how long can I keep the momentum going before I crash? The meds, the drs trips, the fatigue, the worry, the financial impact– all of it. Some days it gets to be too much- and it is easier to be in denial. But your body doesn’t let you stay in denial for too long- right? 😀
The last part that really affected me was when they talked about the possibilities of passing this on to your children. I guess I do have a hidden feeling of guilt- that I passed this along to my babies. You try to do everything possible to protect them, keep them safe from the moment you are aware of their existence. Yet all while, my body was making them sick.
There is hope in there too. There is hope that we are going to get better, it just might take longer than we want it to. There is hope that this movie will bring about greater awareness and understanding. There is hope and comfort that there are others out there who get it- who understand all of these emotions, thoughts and fears.
Lastly there is thanks- thanks to Turn the Corner Foundation who made this film possible and is helping fund research for Lyme and other tick-borne illnesses.