Yes!!! Seem I can do it. I can pull out of this funk- I can keep myself from falling back into it. Damn skippy, it isn’t always easy. But it is possible. Give me a challenge and I’ll do my best.
The last few days actually went quite good!!! The kids are responding better when I am not a total crab, Gary is trying to get out of his funk, and we had some awesome conversations the few nights at dinner. I didn’t even freak out when my one cleaning client called to cancel for this week. I went to bed, thinking all is not lost! LOL Now, the task is to keep the momentum going!
To keep that momentum going, I have to focus on the end result. The biggest reward here is that my family is happier. Really! The other night, Scott sat down at dinner, all grumpy. I pulled out the conversation jar, something we hadn’t done in a while, and we talked and joked. I noticed he seemed much more relaxed then when he first sat down. He admitted to me that he felt a lot better too. And this coming from a 12 year old! Wow!
Gary is doing better too. We had it out in a way on Saturday. Issues had been festering and in a way, it was good. We regrouped ourselves as a couple. We were able to put a lot of the “yuck” back into perspective and realize that the family is what matters. We are even going out together to do some errands today and I am expecting to have a great time with him.
I have mentioned Morning Coach before here, but I have to admit, I wouldn’t have been able to get out of this as easily if it were not for that website and the forum there. I made sure I listened to the calls, I read the forum posts, and even started wearing one of Caitlyn’s purple hair bands as a “positive wristband. (Dorky- yes- but it works!). I was able to refocus myself and I feel so much better!
Today I am having a herx/flare. I had my second week’s shot Sunday night. The flare is good, the Lyme die-off is still happening. This time however, I am prepared. I know I have to slow it down so I can heal. But it does not mean I need to slack off on everything. I can still take care of me!