Tag Archives: Musings

It’s so dusty in here!

Yikes! What the heck happened to this blog?  I am not sure if it looks shriveled up and dead, covered in mold, or hidden among dust mice. But here I am, and here it is- ready to get cleaned up, and perhaps even used again.

I know that I get lazy at times, and stop writing, but this is the worst I have been in a while. Maybe  now that the kids are back to school, and the September Birthday’s are over, I’ll have a bit of extra time to strat writing again. Just don’t let  me look at the calender and see how many more days until Christmas because then I might get all hyperventilate-ily and stop blogging again. Let me at least get a few new entries done first. 🙂

So off I go, looking for something to talk/write about!

A month?? Really??

It has been more than a month since my last post here? Wow, that is bad, even for me!

It has been a crazy couple of months and a lot of my energy has been going towards keeping my head above water. It has been hard for me to get into the “holiday spirit” for so many reasons. Sheer “busy-ness” has been a huge part of it. And y’all know how I don’t handle stress very well!

I am hoping that I can get myself looking at the happy and bright side of life (always look at the bright side of life….if Eric Idle can sing it, so can I!). Of course he sings it better than I can.

So…. here is to a happy holiday pre-season. 2 weeks and a day to go. 2 weeks and 2 days if you are not an Iantosca…..

Crazy Crazy Crazeeeeeeeeeeee!

Yup, that is me, Goin’ Crazy! (Gone?? You think it is too late, that I have already *gone* crazy?? Hey! I resent that!)

I guess it is the truth,  just read through some on my earlier posts and you’ll see… totally bonkers!  That’s me!  So what have I been up to the last few weeks since I posted. Some days it seems like a whole lotta nuthin.’ But that nothing seems to take along long time and is sooo darn tiring LOL

The one great thing is that the weather is finally getting nice, for the most part. I love to work outside in the yard and gardens. I used my Gift Certificates that we won for Eden Farms to get some flowers and herbs. That was fun and dirty and relaxing! Except for the tick I had crawling on me. That freaked me out and made me itchy the rest of the day. Weird, since you can’t feel a tick bite you. It was all in my head (see, more proof of crazy!)

I am working hard at Faery-Wings- I am now a member of the Association of Artisan Businesses

As part of the membership, I now have a web store at Artisans Online.

It has been a great experience setting it up and I can’t wait for some orders to come through (hint hint!)

I hope that you will stop by and take a look. It has a lot of new products in there, including the new body lotion and shower gel scent, Sugared Lemon Drop. mmm mmm! Perfect for these upcoming summer days 🙂
Other than that, it seems like May is busy with all of our family fun- birthdays, Mother’s Day anniversaries… and it all flows into June.

I hope that you are all doing fantastic!


Horoscope reality, coincidence or synchronicity?

So yeah, I admit it. I believe in a lot of the “wacky” stuff- ghosts, ESP, tarot cards and so. I do believe in Astrology, more as a soft science of how the planets all together impact our beings. The daily horoscopes, eh. They’re fun to read, but rather meaningless.

But get this, I have been working really hard at getting Faery-Wings back into running. I have gotten several orders over the last week.
I am trying to look forward to the warm weather and feeling better.
Every night I do positive affirmations to keep my focus strong and my stress level as low as possible under the circumstances.

Earlier in the week, things were going absolutely horrible, but over the last few days, we have gotten bits of “good” news. Things that were terrible are turning out to be blessings in disguise, almost. Not quite there— but better!

So today, I happen to see my horoscope on my Google homepage.
This is what it says:

You may already realize that the days ahead will get easier for you, even if you aren’t fully ready to trust your intuition. Instead of having to stand up and fight for each and every little thing, you are entering a period when you’ll feel encouraged by your peers. Don’t let old fears sabotage current endeavors. Having faith in your friends now actually enables them to offer you the support you need.

OK- now *that* is the best “news” I have heard in along time. Does this mean that things could be moving forward for us? That maybe, just maybe things won’t be a total struggle?

So yeah, my question is– could the horoscope be real? Is it just a coincidence that I have been working hard on the Law of Attraction? Is it synchronicity that this things are happening and I am finally becoming aware?

Or is the bigger question– does it really matter? 😀

Lyme Story

and like Love Story, there is no happy ending.

For now.

I wrote this for to be submitted to Congress regarding health plans. I wanted to share it here as well.

In 1992, I graduated from college with highest honors in two majors. I got married, had two children and decided to be a stay at home mom. I thought I was living the American dream.

In 2004, all of that came crashing down. Hard. My husband became sick and no one knew what it was. Two years and many misdiagnoses later, we found out that it was Late Stage Neurological Lyme disease. It took us another year to find a doctor who could actually treat him.

At this point, he was extremely ill and barely able to work. Between 2004-2007, he missed more and more work. Reluctantly, he went on disability and then, long-term disability. After his long-term disability ran out, we appealed and re-appealed to have it extended. We were denied each time.

Lyme Disease treatment is very tricky and his case was made harder because of two factors: he is insulin dependent diabetic, and he had this disease since childhood. During his treatment, his symptoms became worse. His doctor was able to get our insurance to cover two months of IV antibiotic treatment. Just as he was starting to show improvement, the insurance would no longer pay for this treatment and his IV was removed.

In the meantime, we became avid researchers of this disease. To our surprise and horror, we learned that the Borrelia burgdorferi spirochete that was infecting my husband is a cousin to syphilis. And the spirochete can be passed to others in the same ways that syphilis is, through sexual contact and through the placenta and breast milk. Now able to see that the myriad, yet vague symptoms that my children and I had been experiencing for many years, we all were tested for Lyme and other tick borne infections.

I broke down and cried in the doctor’s office as we heard our results. We all tested positive for Lyme. My son also had Babesia, a malaria-like infection and Bartonella. My daughter also had Bartonella. My immune system had broken down from fighting the Lyme infection and had reactivated Mononucleosis.

Sadly, we were mistakenly relieved at first, believing that this was a first step towards getting better. Little did we know that this was the beginning of a huge, difficult, and stressful battle.

Most Lyme Literate doctors do not take insurance, which means all office visits are paid out of pocket. Each month, another $1000 would be put on the credit card, just for seeing the doctor. Each prescription cost us another $20 a piece. Thankfully, we had prescription coverage for most of our prescriptions. However, for some Rx’s, the insurance would refuse to pay, we would try to appeal, usually with no success. Every trip to the pharmacy would keep my stomach in knots, wondering who’s Rx’s would be able to get filled.

Feeling sicker than ever, we would travel to each of our doctors. My husband and I saw a doctor who was 50 minutes from our house. We were lucky; our children’s doctor is almost 2 hours away.

As we all began to feel worse, I needed to step up as an advocate for my family. I needed to call insurance companies, doctors’ offices, and pharmacies. It became a fulltime job. I was also working a part time job from home, and often that needed to take a back seat to my “health job.”

The school system became another job- advocating for my children’s special needs and situations. They needed to have 504 Plans in place. However, many of their teachers did not understand the severity of their illnesses. I am in constant contact with the teachers and administrators to educate them so that they can better help my children. It seems to never end.

Currently, we are living solely on my part time salary. It was $1000 a month, but due to the economy, it was recently cut to $500/month. I am not able to work outside of the how due to my own illness. We have racked up huge credit card debt, something we had never done before. We have drained our children’s savings accounts. We have had to apply for financial assistance for heat and electricity, Medicaid and free school lunches.

We thought we were doing everything right. We were good people, hard working, wanting the best for our family. Now, we are a statistic.

Our health insurance has let us down. It has kept us from getting the proper care that we need. It has put us into a situation where our future is unknown. It has created stress within my family that no one can imagine.

We will keep fighting. We will keep doing, because we have no other choice.

But we want to be heard. We want people to know that they too could be living the “American Dream,” only to lose it all like we have. The insurance company and pharmaceutical industries do not have our best interests at heart. That needs to change.

Time flies, doesn’t it?

And I am not so happy about it all that much anymore. What happened to the slow days- when it seemed like it took for ever for Christmas to come, or that summer vacation felt like it lasted a year? Now I feel like I blink, and all of these weeks are gone. I am surprised, but not really that it has been a month since I last blogged here. In my defense smile_wink, I have been pretty decent about keeping up on my P-365 blog.

The winter days seems long and the same and cold and dull to me.I live for spring and summer! And I wish it would come quicker than it is. But then, I know I’ll feel like more time is slipping by.My kids are growing too fast. Scott went to his first concert with his dad the other night. Slipknot. Yup, who would have thought that the two of us would have raised a head banger! LOLOL! No big surprise I guess.

Cait is almost as big as me too- she is starting to borrow my clothes, and she has a really nice pair of boots I want to get my hands on (yes, they fit!)

But while time seems to be going fast for them, Gary and I are still plodding along in Lyme –Land.It feels like this has been going on for such a long time. We don’t seem to be getting better. I wonder if we will ever feel “great” again. I can’t complain that much, I do get a few decent days in here and there. But they seem to be so far away. It is hard not to worry, ya know?

But you do what you gotta do….. It will all work out. I know it will. As always, I just need time and patience.

Day Two

Well, because I felt so worn out today, I didn’t push myself as much as I would have liked to. But maybe I am finally learning to listen better tyo my body. I tend to ignore it as it screams at me to slow down LOLOL! I did get in 18 minutes of wii fit. I unlocked and tried the Advanced Step, OMG toooo fun! I also worked really hard with getting the rest of the Christmas decorations and tree put away. That was a lot of trips up and down the stairs. My legs feel it for sure!

Mood and positive thinking was not as good today. I think being tired has a lot to do with my limitations on that. I am also apprehensive about “reality” on Monday when the kids go back to school, and I need to get back into a tougher routine. I chose the word “apprehensive” here because I think the word FREAKED would have sent the wrong signals out to the Universe hahahaah!!!

On that note, I am going to finish up here with a few gratitudes- that always seems to help put me in a better mind set:

  • my best friend Jenn who sent me a really awesome, long “novel” of an e,ail, catching me up with her week off too. I hadn’t heard from her since Christmas and it always makes me happy to hear from her.
  • my new fuzzy blanket- My mom got me the *nest* blanket for our bed. It is so soft and cozy- it was the one nice thing I could focus on through my insomnia.
  • Oscraps Featured in Scrap’n Art Ezine – Free Collab! This was an amazing article to read, and the Oscraps kit in there is fab!!!! I am always so happy and proud to be a Cheery O!!

For now, that would be it….unless I decide to spill the beans that I am drinking a nice glass of red wine… 😉 We opened a bottle on New Year’s Eve and it never got finished. (How sad is that? LOL) But I decided to have a glass with dinner, and to finish the bottle. There was only one glass left- really! I am savoring it slowly 🙂

I hope everyone who reads this is having a wonderful day, night and/or weekend!